July 4, 2011

Stress, Life, and how to not let them control you (part 2)

Last post I spoke of how the Ch'i can affect our bodies and our moods. It is this affect on our being that effects those who are around us. We as human beings are social creatures and crave, nay require interaction with other people. A problem that occurs, with some of us, is that in our search for a connection with someone else, we morph our beliefs, emotions, and very thoughts to what others around us believe, feel, or think.  In an article written by Dr. Athena Staik, (http://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships/2011/06/the-secret-to-being-authentically-you-part-1/) she says: "Life is a learning journey. We are each unique beings living in a world surrounded by unique others, with whom, paradoxically, we also share a lot in common. The best and perhaps only way to really understand others is to know and understand ourselves." One method of understanding ourselves is through meditation.

There are as many ways to meditate, as there are people in the world.  The reason for this is due to what is in the paragraph above, our uniqueness.  Meditation is simply a state of mind. It is a tool used to achieve an insight into what is our center. Finding what is in the center of our "uniqueness", keeps us grounded into what makes us an individual.  It helps us to not get lost in other people's beliefs, emotions, or thoughts. If everyday you reach into yourself for a little sense of peace, then all the stresses you come into contact with will be more manageable.  Think about this way, that stress is your belief of what you think others require of you. You would have no stress if you were in control of what was required of you. This is not a revelation, but no one can control you but you. Your thoughts, your ideas, your actions, and mostly your decisions are all controlled by you.  A therapist once told me that all we can control is our thoughts, our emotions, and our actions.  Sounds like the same idea.  But these are not new ideas, thousands of years ago a great philosopher Lao Tzu said; "“When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”  This is the state meditation assists us in acquiring.  

If you have never tried mediation, start by simply sitting somewhere fairly quiet.  Sit with your legs crossed for balance, if you can, or just sit. Close your eyes, and don't think.  Now I know you are probably saying, I can't just sit and not think.  I had the same problems when I started, my mind was not able to shut down my thoughts.  So, focus your thoughts on your breathing. Breathe in your nose and out your mouth, and count your breathes.  Each cycle of breath is inhaling through your nose, and exhaling through your mouth. That is one breath.  Focus your thoughts on visualizing a white number on a black background.  As you take each breath, focus only on the number.  See it in your mind as if you were looking at it on a page.  Allow the number to change as you breathe.  Your breaths must be slow, allow yourself to let go and just see the number as you breathe.  Do this until you are able to focus solely on the number with no other thoughts creeping in.  It may not happen the first few times you meditate.  It will happen eventually though, remember the point is not to have a goal or destination, but the trip itself.  Relax, breathe, and enjoy the ride.

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